The kid was swell. he was walking in the street, instead of on the sidewalk, but right next to the curb. he was making out like he was walking in a very straight line, the way kids do, and the whole time he kept singing and humming. i got up closer so i could hear what he was singing. he was singing that song, "if a body catch a bod coming through the rye." He had a pretty little voice too. He was just singing for the hell of it, you could tell. the cars zoomed by, brakes screeched all over the place, his parents paid no attention to him, and he kept on walking next to the curb and singing "if a body catch a body coming through the rye." it made me feel better. it made me feel not so depressed any more.

- What about this moment made Holden feel better and less depressed? is it because the boy was just being himself, being a kid like Holden may wish he could be. In this moment to me the little boy embodies the care free, just wants to make himself happy, oblivious little kid. This boy is just trying to make himself happy, not noticing the cars going by because he is just living in the moment. The boy is being a kid, not worried about the world today or whats going to happen tomorrow or where he's going. As where Holden i think wishes that he could just step back. That he himself could or should just stop worrying about his parents, Allie, Jane. but fulfill what he wants to do with his life. stop trying to make everyone happy and just worry about himself and what he really wants/needs to do.

sunny and the nuns

When Holden met Sunny he just wanted to talk. He was embarassed. "i didnt feel sexy" Holden says. He feels sad for sunny, because the whom ever she bought her green dress from didnt know that she was a prostitute. Then when Holden met the nuns he was embarassed also. he was embarassed when he accidently blows smoke into the nun's faces for example. Through these two people he talks to we can see that he does care about the well being of these people. That he cares about his image. The ways he cares about his image and what people think is comforting to know and to be able to get back to being human where you cant not care about what other people think. This vonurability that Holden is showing us comforts me and makes his character more relateable. In chapters 14 and 15 i personally think that we have found more about Holden with his views and opinions.

unaccepting

"Glad to've met you" - to somebody im not at all glad i met. if you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.
at first i wasn't really sure if Holden realized that he was being a phony here or not. But when i read it over a couple times it really seems as though Holden is making an excuse for himself. that the phony things he does are just things that people have to do if they want to survive life. Which really makes me upset because it shows me that Holden cant take responsibility for himself. that its never HIS fault, but rather something else - It's like he is giving himself a get out of jail free card.

Depressed

In chapters 12 and 13 i think that maybe on every single page Holden was either talking about how people or things were phony, or how depressed he is. A couple of things he talks about being phony is the piano player Ernie and Lillian Simmons. Then when he goes on to talk about how things are depressing is "New York's terrible when somebody laughs on the street very late at night. You can hear it for miles. It makes you feel so lonesome and depressed." He also talks about being depressed when he is walking and his hands are freezing and he is depressed about his gloves. When Holden says things are depressing it seems like he is saying that just because he can, and its just something to say. Almost like a word filler - like he doesn't mean it he is just saying/ making a comment. These things bother me about Holden because i can never figure out what he means when he says this is depressing because he says it so much you don't know if he is serious or not. Also i don't think that we have enough information on what connections these "depressing" things have with Holden. Either way to me its kind of annoying because to me its like he is saying things even though he doesn't mean it...which does lead into him being a compulsive liar.

Child? or Adult?

So far in the chapters we have read its clear now that Holden is going through the phase of transitioning from a child to an adult. When Holden and Stradlater are fighting, its obvious that Holden is being a bit of a child. But another thing that Holden does where he acts like a child is handling situations. For example... when Allie died Holden punched out the garage windows, that to me shows that he doesn't know how to handle situations like that. And in no way do i think that its all Holden's fault, because his parents should be helping him cope with it a healthy way. But at the same time it isn't necessarily his parents fault either- because they might not know how to handle situations well either. But by not handling situations well, it goes to him always flunking out of school. As Morgan said in class "Holden might be afraid to stay in one spot for to long because he starts to get connected to it. Then he gets scared and doesn't know what to do, so he leaves." Also by acting out Holden may be trying to get attention. And since i think he doesn't want to be like his brother (good) because he is afraid, so he trys to get attention the bad way. I think that acting out or doing bad things is a way to get attention. Also it may be to get attention from his parents...to get them to care for him as they did Allie

The Adult things that Holden does is he is able to look at life with reality. He lets himself know and not sugar coat things and realizes them for what they truly are. Also as Holden's sympathetic kicks in you can see that he tells people what they want to hear. During chapter eight he does this a lot. Holden tells a classmates mother about how popular and modest her son is. But in reality in Holden's perspective he is really a bastard. Reading chapters 9-11 it showed me that Holden is trying to act old. This is shown when he decides to hit on the woman and attempts to pick them up. Also when he is in the lounge place and trys to order himself an alcholholic beverage.

The way Holden acts between child and adult is what i think a lot of teens are going through today because they are trying to show/prove to an adult figure that they are mature so the other adult gives them a higher level of respect. But also like Holden we want to hold on to that innocence of not always being in control of what we do.

Holden Handling Hardships

In chapter five we learned that Holden had a brother Allie who died, and that the night he died Holden spent the night in the garage and broke all of the windows with his fist. WHY? i think Holden smashed the windows because he doesnt know how to cope or handle those type of situations. Also i think that when Holden did that it shows how distant him and his parents are. Because to me in those types of situations the parents should try to help Holden cope and try to stay close as a family and get through it together. But it shows just how far apart they are from one another. We also have another sense in why they are because at the begining of the book he talks about how his parents suck basically. Not handling these types of sitations well comes up again when he decides to run away to New York. Holden is running away from his fears. He is running away because he doesnt know how to handle or face his parents that he has gotten kicked out of yet again another school. I hope to see later in the book whether or not he learns how to deal with the hardships that comes his way. Also i want to see whether he runs away or faces the problem head on.

first impressions...

The main things I have noticed about Holden so far is that he is a pessimist, Ackely serves as the main image for his per peeves, and he is an understanding person ( meaning he can be nice and sympathetic)
Holden doesn’t look at the cup half full at all. You can see this when he writes the note to his teacher saying I don’t know any more so it's ok if you fail me (in a nutshell). Also Ackley represents his pet peeves in “He always picked up your personal stuff and looked at it. Boy, could he get on your nerves sometimes.” That quote shows that Ackley serves as the annoying buzz in Holden’s ear. Holden does show a sympathetic side when he is at his teacher’s house. When Mr. Spencer tosses an object to his bed and misses, Holden takes the initiative to go and pick up. Also he is sympathetic towards Old Spencer when he wrote the note at the end of his test and tried to make it so he didn’t feel bad about failing him.
Personally so far through these first five chapters I think I feel sympathetic and empathy towards Holden. I feel sympathetic because I haven’t gone through what he has and his situations that make him feel the way he does. But empathy because I think I share the some of the same views as Holden, in that life is a game for the “Hot-shots” as he puts it. Also what I have gotten from the book is that he is realistic and sees that there are people that are full of crap.

the world goes round...

what does it mean to be alienated or separated from others?
the physical
- you are not associated or you get shunned from a group of people. though you may think that your a part of the group...they may not always let you know whats going on. its almost as if you are skimming the surface of whats really there, or your not quite to the finish line.
the feeling
- some times this feeling can seem as though the world is spinning around you, and everyone else is going on with their lives...but your just standing there...standing still. Not quite sure what to do because you don't know...your not in the group anymore - they do what they do while you...you just stand there waiting. Even though you may be in the group...who says your actually "in" the group. are there other agenda's that are happening that you don't know about? or are these inside jokes...more inside than you think?
Conclusion
- one way or another... i would say we have all felt like we don't belong. As if there was something missing..something we passed, didn't quite catch. But when do you start to notice this drift? is it you? or is it just them? maybe its both...maybe your starting to grow apart from before...your personalities are different, your hobby's. What ever it is its all happened to someone before..or it may. why this happens...I'm not sure. but whenever it does it feels like your the only one who has ever gone through it. but just realize that through the world, there are millions just like you who feel the same way.

a semi messy day

today....
i made myself a fruit salad...then during math i ate some but after i got done eating it...i didnt close the lid all the way and all of the juice from the fruit went in my locker...:( then i had art where clay got all over my jeans...and to top of this day we had soccer practice outside and i was practicing my dives...in the mud and now my sweat pants and clothes are all wet...thank goodness we have washers!